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Murphy's Technology LawsMore mirth and funnies from the man who brought you sliced bread with butter and jelly on the carpet.
Murphy's Technology Law #1:
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.Murphy's Technology Law #2:
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.Murphy's Technology Law #3:
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.Murphy's Technology Law #4:
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first Woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation.Murphy's Technology Law #5:
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing.Murphy's Technology Law #6:
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.Murphy's Technology Law #7:
All great discoveries are made by mistake.Murphy's Technology Law #8:
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.Murphy's Technology Law #9:
All's well that ends . . . period.Murphy's Technology Law #10:
A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.Murphy's Technology Law #11:
The first myth of management is that it exists.Murphy's Technology Law #12:
A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.Murphy's Technology Law #13:
New systems generate new problems.Murphy's Technology Law #14:
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.Murphy's Technology Law #15:
We don't know one-millionth of one percent about anything.Murphy's Technology Law #16:
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.Murphy's Technology Law #17:
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
Some Related Laws
LORENZ'S LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
KOVAC'S CONNUNDRUM
When you dial a wrong number,you never get an engaged one.
CANNON'S KARMIC LAW
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre,
the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
O'BRIEN'S VARIATION LAW
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than
the one you are in now.
BELL'S THEOREM
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with
someone you don't want to be seen with.
WILLOUGHBY'S LAW
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
BREDA'S RULE
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive
last.
OWEN'S LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to
do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
HOWDEN'S LAW
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.
Thanks to everyone who sent in a "funny"
