Barking Dogs
Barking Dogs at night
Hey!
Everyone has had malicious thoughts about barking dogs at night and
their owners. How many of us have called next door neighbors to
complain about Fido's nocturnal noises? Most I would suspect. If your
neighbors are like mine they couldn't care less. Of course, this
magnifies the irritation. Below is an humane solution to the problem.
Take care to
judge the size of the offending animal. The suggestions below relate to
a dog the size of a Beagle. Here follows, the formula:
Take an accurate
1/6 of a dose of chocolate Ex-lax, wrap it in a small ball of ground
beef and feed it to the offending canine beastie. Shortly the problem
will cease.
THEORY
ELUCIDATED Barking requires the ability to concentrate
considerable pressure in the abdominal region. This is implicit upon
the maintenance of pressure with all sphincter muscles. Frankly
speaking Ex-Lax significantly reduces the integrity of the anal
sphincter thereby dramatically reducing the animal's ability to sound
because of the simultaneous loss of pressure due to involuntary
excretion. -- Bill Mac 8 Dec 2002
Response:
Bad Tips. I'm writing you to inform you that giving
ex-lax to a dog could result in the fatality of the animal since
chocolate is poisonous to dogs. - TW
Disclaimer:
Hints-n-Tips does not actually recommend any of the tips and
suggestions found on this website. This does not mean that we do not
occasionally laugh our socks off at some off the submissions!! Please
note that an ingredient of chocolate is very toxic to dogs and some
other animals, and that the above article recommends ONE SIXTH OF A
DOSE. Note that dogs vary considerably in size so even the very small
amount recommended, if given to a very small dog, could cause harm.
Barking Dogs at Night
Recently I heard of a way to stop those dogs who are barking at night
... and it's not dangerous to the animal. (You just have to be dressed
and ready to go out to do something about it. Usually the dogs are
barking after the person being annoyed is already in bed.) I saw this
on a Japanese TV program, with instructions by dog trainers who made
house calls to help people know how to control their dogs better.
Fill a spray bottle with 1 part vinegar to 1 part water (for example,
1/4 cup vinegar and 1/4 cup water). When the dog starts barking, simply
spray the vinegar water in the direction of the dog ... not in it's
face. The smell will cause the dog to have to breathe in more deeply,
and it only takes a couple of times to train the dog to stop barking.
This works best if the owner of the dog uses this method, as the dog
would normally bark more at strangers.
House dogs that barked every time the doorbell rang were trained to
stop barking in less than 5 minutes - and it worked there after, too.
They would ring the bell - the dog would bark, the owner would spray
once in the air above the dog's head, and the dog immediately stopped
barking ... without the owner having to say a word! They waited a few
minutes, and repeated the process. The third time they rang the bell (a
few minutes after the second time), the dog did not bark.
By the way - I REALLY like your site!!! -- "Cathy"
Cathy Garrott, Nagasaki, JAPAN 7 May 2003
Barking
Dogs at night -- Additional Notes -- A Defense
I bet the vinegar spray is a good solution. However it is a shock
to the dog just as involuntary excretion is a shock as well.
I don't see one as being more humane than the other. I will
admit the commentator's argument as presented may be a small bit less
traumatic only because of duration.
I challenge this
interested party to trespass and spray a vinegar solution on
a neighbor's dogs in the kennel clearly located on private property
during nocturnal hours. Whereas my method can be delivered by
slingshot (for a short distance of course) especially if it
is bound by some kind of non-toxic paper tape. The one time I tried to
deliver the package using a crossbow there was an unfortunate
outcome. Although the canine beastie lived it now goes into attack mode
when it sees anyone with a crossbow. Perhaps I should have my
trifocal glasses checked. I used to be a good shot. (grin)
and no, I didn't actually shoot the beastie, I just scared the SXXX
out of it.
In response those
interested in a practical and universal solution to the
problem of barking canine beasties residing on another
person's property might reduce the cited dose by 50% if they
fear the proved recipe is cruel. However, I argue that all
animals must excrete sometimes we do it better than other
times. Even we humans on occasion need some assistance to get
the job done. So therefore I argue, and I believe quite convincingly
and logically and reasonably as well, assisting a canine beastie in
this enterprise can be an educational, relieving and silencing
experience.
Truly, a beastie
so trained will not have the added stress of being yelled at
or having rude thing thrown at it by sleep deprived, crazed
neighbors. You see, bricks can do real fundamental harm and I am
certainly against harming any pet or captive animal.
With
sincere personal regards I am, W. B. "Bill"
McCaslin
Barking
Dogs. My friend found a way to stop a dog from
barking in the middle of the night. She got up, got dressed,
and walked the neighborhood until she found the barking dog.
Every time the dog barked she rang the doorbell. She said if
she had to be up, so should the owners! After a few times of
ringing the doorbell she heard the backdoor shut and no more
barking dog. She said they never came to the front door to
answer the doorbell. Gotta laugh but it worked! --
Dummybear
More
interesting articles by by Bill McCaslin:-
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Ensuring
the disabled have power |
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Mild retribution for
the nasty ones |
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Don't let Spyware ruin
your day |
|
|
How to really use the
magic metal |
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