Barking Dogs
Barking Dogs at night
Hey! Everyone
has had malicious thoughts about barking dogs at night and their
owners. How many of us have called next door neighbors to complain
about Fido's nocturnal noises? Most I would suspect. If your neighbors
are like mine they couldn't care less. Of course, this magnifies the
irritation. Below is an humane solution to the problem.
Take care to judge the size of the
offending animal. The suggestions below relate to a dog the size of a
Beagle. Here follows, the formula:
Take an accurate 1/6 of a dose of
chocolate Ex-lax, wrap it in a small ball of ground beef and feed it to
the offending canine beastie. Shortly the problem will cease.
THEORY ELUCIDATED
Barking requires the ability to concentrate considerable pressure in
the abdominal region. This is implicit upon the maintenance of pressure
with all sphincter muscles. Frankly speaking Ex-Lax significantly
reduces the integrity of the anal sphincter thereby dramatically
reducing the animal's ability to sound because of the simultaneous loss
of pressure due to involuntary excretion. -- Bill Mac 8 Dec 2002
Response: Bad Tips.
I'm writing you to inform you that giving ex-lax to a dog could result
in the fatality of the animal since chocolate is poisonous to dogs.
- TW 12/06/09
Disclaimer: TheTipsBank
does not actually recommend any of the tips and suggestions found on
this website. This does not mean that we do not occasionally laugh our
socks off at some off the submissions!!
Barking Dogs at Night
Recently I heard of a way to stop those dogs who are barking at night
... and it's not dangerous to the animal. (You just have to be dressed
and ready to go out to do something about it. Usually the dogs are
barking after the person being annoyed is already in bed.) I saw this
on a Japanese TV program, with instructions by dog trainers who made
house calls to help people know how to control their dogs better.
Fill a spray bottle with 1 part vinegar to 1 part water (for example,
1/4 cup vinegar and 1/4 cup water). When the dog starts barking, simply
spray the vinegar water in the direction of the dog ... not in it's
face. The smell will cause the dog to have to breathe in more deeply,
and it only takes a couple of times to train the dog to stop barking.
This works best if the owner of the dog uses this method, as the dog
would normally bark more at strangers.
House dogs that barked every time the doorbell rang were trained to
stop barking in less than 5 minutes - and it worked there after, too.
They would ring the bell - the dog would bark, the owner would spray
once in the air above the dog's head, and the dog immediately stopped
barking ... without the owner having to say a word! They waited a few
minutes, and repeated the process. The third time they rang the bell (a
few minutes after the second time), the dog did not bark.
By the way - I REALLY like your site!!! -- "Cathy"
Cathy Garrott, Nagasaki, JAPAN 7 May 2003
Barking Dogs at night --
Additional Notes -- A Defense I bet the vinegar spray
is a good solution. However it is a shock to the dog just as
involuntary excretion is a shock as well. I don't see one as
being more humane than the other. I will admit the commentator's
argument as presented may be a small bit less traumatic only because of
duration.
I challenge this interested party to
trespass and spray a vinegar solution on a neighbor's dogs in the
kennel clearly located on private property during nocturnal hours.
Whereas my method can be delivered by slingshot (for a short
distance of course) especially if it is bound by some kind of non-toxic
paper tape. The one time I tried to deliver the package using a
crossbow there was an unfortunate outcome. Although the canine beastie
lived it now goes into attack mode when it sees anyone with a
crossbow. Perhaps I should have my trifocal glasses checked. I
used to be a good shot. (grin) and no, I didn't actually shoot
the beastie, I just scared the SXXX out of it.
In response those interested in a
practical and universal solution to the problem of barking canine
beasties residing on another person's property might reduce the
cited dose by 50% if they fear the proved recipe is cruel.
However, I argue that all animals must excrete, sometimes we do
it better than other times. Even we humans on occasion need some
assistance to get the job done. So therefore I argue, and I
believe quite convincingly and logically and reasonably as well,
assisting a canine beastie in this enterprise can be an educational,
relieving and silencing experience.
Truly, a beastie so trained will not
have the added stress of being yelled at or having rude thing
thrown at it by sleep deprived, crazed neighbors. You see, bricks
can do real fundamental harm and I am certainly against harming any pet
or captive animal.
With sincere personal regards
I am, W. B. "Bill" McCaslin
Barking Dogs. My
friend found a way to stop a dog from barking in the middle of
the night. She got up, got dressed, and walked the neighborhood
until she found the barking dog. Every time the dog barked she
rang the doorbell. She said if she had to be up, so should the
owners! After a few times of ringing the doorbell she heard the
backdoor shut and no more barking dog. She said they never came
to the front door to answer the doorbell. Gotta laugh but it
worked! -- Dummybear
More interesting articles by
by Bill McCaslin:-
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Mild payback for the nasty ones |
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Don't let Spyware ruin your day |
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Setting up a home
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How to really use the magic metal |
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How can I believe in
God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an
electric typewriter? ~ ~ Woody Allen
